They're Cheering on Our Abuser, While We're Being Abused

Every morning I wake up and it’s yet another gut check. These last 15 months have been trauma on top of trauma on top of trauma. Add that to my pre-existing trauma and every fucking day is a chore just to get out of bed and do basic things.

I’m worn the fuck out all the time. Emotionally. Mentally. And all that takes a physical toll as well.

Life’s too much, man.

And the hardest part of all of it is watching people root against my kids and root against me.

Evil is everywhere in the US right now. And it’s extremely uncomfortable to live this alternate reality where people are as quick to embrace evil as they are to reject the truth.

I’ve written about it many times on the blog, but when I was a kid I was abused. There’s nothing more evil than that. Preying on the weak.

Abuse victims might scream out. But, often times they’re not heard. Or if they’re heard, they’re not believed. Because, honestly, it’s hard to comprehend the type of evil that would hurt a child.

That trauma doesn’t go away. It’s a scar you carry around for life. And there are moments where life events happen that remind you of that trauma and it feels like getting traumatized all over again. The feelings of weakness and helplessness and it doesn’t matter if I scream out, nothing is going to make this better. It’s a lonely fucking place.

And that’s where I’ve lived since March 2020.

To watch evil win out in America is like an out of body experience. Unlucky for me, that’s a familiar feeling. It takes me back to my childhood trauma.

And to watch people continue to support the evil Republican party is like those people are in the room with me while I was getting abused, cheering on my abuser.

I’ve screamed the truth on facebook and twitter and the blog for 15 months. And the overwhelming response has been silence. Either silence, as in, trying to shut me up. Or as in crickets…no response whatsoever.

Maybe there were some who liked or commented early on, but by and large my posts fall on deaf ears these days. And that’s because it makes people uncomfortable, not because what I’m saying isn’t true.

And the truth is, people would rather stay silent than ruffle feathers by telling the truth the way I do.

And evil loves that. Like when I was a kid getting abused, there were adults who knew the truth and could have stepped in, but they chose not to. Evil wins as much when good people stay silent as it does when truth tellers are silenced.

And evil wins when people want to be liked or part of the mainstream more than they value victims not getting hurt.

Say it with me…We are living through a genocide.

And almost every single American does not give a shit.

600,000 of us died, because of evil.

And the vast majority of Americans either fully supported Trump and the GOP’s Covid lie-induced genocide or dumbed themselves down to Trump’s level rather than going against the flow and doing absolutely everything possible to save lives.

There’s evil. Like Donald Trump. He knew the science. He had people like Fauci telling him the truth. But, he chose to lie to all of us repeatedly and ended up rallying his brain dead base against the scientists who had trained their whole lives for that moment.

Then there’s evil. Like the followers of Donald Trump. Who were willing to continue to believe and retweet his lies even if they had to step over hundreds of thousands of American bodies to get “normal”.

And then there’s not standing up to evil. These people might be democrats. Or other seemingly good people. Who at some point, let evil wear them down. They ended up buying into the bullshit. Saying…we can go out and do normal things “if we’re safe”.

The fuck we can. Covid is a deadly, highly contagious, airborne virus. We all knew back in March 2020 that the only way to handle it when cases are surging is to stay home.

You flatten the curve to save lives.

But, at some point evil became mainstream and no one cared how many lives we were losing. It became popular opinion to see other people doing normal things and decide completely unsafe behavior was fine. People inexplicably lost their god damn minds, erring on the side of their own selfishness rather than the side of saving lives.

That is trickle down mental illness.

Even if it was a watered down version, some form of Trump’s evil became how most people thought. Freedom is not being willing to kill your neighbor so that you can do fun things. Freedom requires sacrifice. Freedom does not come without cost. Trump sold his base on the idea that freedom was mass murdering our fellow Americans.

The man is a war criminal, not a fucking hero.

600,000 dead.

A 9/11 every other day for 400 days.

And no one gives a shit.

That’s why every fucking day I wake up and assume I’m in hell.

Why does the public overwhelmingly not care about 600,000 mostly unnecessary American deaths? Because Republican leaders spun a pandemic. And the brainwashed, evil maga base, at best, let them and, at worst, helped.

Zero republican politicians ever mourned the massive loss of American lives. None of them extended sympathy to the victims’ families. Not a one pleaded with their constituents to stay home to save lives, wear masks or practice distancing principles.

That is simply not human.

Six. Fucking. Hundred. Thousand. Dead. Americans.

Every single step of the way, Republicans did everything possible to promote the spread of Covid and did nothing to prevent it. And, as a society, we grew to accept what we all absolutely knew to be bull shit.

That is mass delusion. That is an unconscionable moral failure.

Our kids will be absolutely horrified one day when they see what their parents did.

We seriously lived through a reality where, when cases were surging in July, Trump tweeted “open the schools” and “play college football”. Not “here’s how we’ll do it safely”. Not “I’m going to pay people to stay home for 6 weeks so that no American gets left behind.” Just full steam ahead, knowing full well that his actions would cause hundreds of thousands of deaths.

And America overwhelmingly flunked that morality test.

Instead of EVERY last one of us screaming bloody murder and calling him out. We had parents protesting the school boards that were trying to keep our communities safe. We had parents hash tagging “let them play”.

Into the teeth of surging cases, Trump said, “let’s go”. And Americans said, “fuck yeah.”

They also said, “I don’t give a shit whether my kids’ teachers, coaches or custodians live or die. God damnit my kid ‘needs’ in person school. Or my kid ‘needs’ sports.”

Motherfucker, 600,000 of us needed to keep breathing. Your kid could have done without a couple of sports seasons. What our kids actually needed was an example that human life matters.

Instead they got a mind-bending alternate reality where scientists became the bad guys during a pandemic.

We teach our kids math, but our Covid actions told them “please don’t apply those lessons.”

Simple math. Here we go.

We have 4% of the world’s population. If we had 4% of the world’s covid deaths, less than 150,000 Americans would have died.

But, why the fuck would “America First” settle for average?

Our Covid response should have been world class.

Australia only lost 910 lives to Covid. Adjusted for population, that’s like us losing 12,000.

588,000 of us could be alive, but for evil running this country, evil supporting that evil and the evil of “good” people not screaming out/standing up to the evil that orchestrated this genocide.

Our whole country has gone mad when people are more worried about what people will think of them for telling the truth on facebook than they are that 588,000 Americans are dead because most people refused to speak up on their behalf.

To still be a Republican is to be completely untethered to reality. You have to be fine with genocide.

Thing is, if Hillary had won and we even lost 12,000 lives to Covid, all Fox News would be talking about is the Clinton Genocide. Republicans lies killed 50x that and instead of telling the truth to save lives, Fox helped kill us in mass.

So, fucking stop with the "both sides" bullshit. Only one party induced a genocide. Only one party has a propaganda machine that would not stop lying about Covid, giving false credibility to Trump's lies.

Why do I keep screaming out on social media when clearly no one is listening? Because it’s always the right thing to do to tell the truth. To stand up to evil. When truth tellers become the bad guys, there is no future.

I keep crying out to no one, because my kids deserve a future. One that’s not an authoritarian state where the truth tellers are the bad guys, the free press is the “enemy of the people” and democracy is dead. But, one where we’re actually all free. Where we don’t have to suffer from 74M being propagandized out of their right minds by Fox News.

What have my kids seen this last year? Evil parents sacrificing lives for their own personal “normal”. Evil leaders lying pathologically. Evil followers believing every lie.

When not even a genocide is the deal killer that makes you leave your party, you are not someone I want anywhere near my kids. Your very existence threatens their future.

The fucked up thing with all of this is that I did the right thing. I literally saved lives. If everyone had behaved like I did between last March and two weeks after my second vaccine dose this April, hundreds of thousands of us would still be alive.

I got zero drive-thru. Did zero in person dining. No carryout. One curbside dinner for Blake’s birthday. I did every grocery pick up curbside. Never went inside a grocery store except for going into HyVee at night for Riley’s birthday cake. I went to Costco 4 or 5 times. All but one of them 20 minutes before close on a weeknight when it was near empty. I saw a friend in person twice, both times because he helped me out when my car was in the shop.

Day in and day out, I was at home. Because, that’s what you do. You give a shit about other people. You don't flatten the curve by being out and about. I gave up 13 months of my life to try to do my part. And would gladly do it again to save other people’s lives.

But, because evil ran the show in the US, my relationships became impossibly strained between my kids and me. They’re kids. I don’t blame them one bit. But, for me to do the right thing and watch them see all the other parents choosing genocide instead of one year of minor sacrifices. For fuck’s sake what is wrong with society? How did me handling Covid like science-based Australia result in me being seen as the crazy one, while those who followed trump's lie-based covid response were seen as sane?

In my day, it was “if your friend told you to jump off a cliff would you?” In my kids’ day it’s, “If other kids told you to help them push 600,000 Americans off a Covid cliff would you?”

People got peer pressured into being accessories to genocide. How the fuck does that happen?

Americans just gave up even trying to fight Covid, no matter how badly cases surged. Because, evil convinced them that lies were the truth. To paraphrase Voltaire, anyone who can get you to believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.

600,000 dead. Almost all completely avoidable. A genocide. And we’re not all crying out every single fucking day? I’m one of the only ones still even mentioning it, while Americans go on with their lives pretending everything is okay.

This is pretty fucking far from okay.

We’ve all been abused by GOP lies. We’ve all been through an unspeakable trauma over the last 15 months. And I will never understand the fake Christmas card crowd, smiling as if everything’s fine while a pile of hundreds of thousands of American bodies lies just out of frame behind them.

Of course I hate every single person who voted for Trump or still supports the party who orchestrated this American genocide. You hate evil. It’s what you do. You don’t get to help kill 600,000 Americans and get a fucking pass.

You motherfuckers came after my kids’ bright futures. You came after my life. You wrecked my business. For what? We could have had 12,000 dead and the economy would be fine. Instead we have 600,000 dead and the country is in shambles, because you pledged your undying support to a mad man.

How the fuck do you look your own kids in the eyes and explain why you didn't set an example for them by doing the bare minimum to save Americans lives and, worse, that you're actually proud to have supported Trump’s genocide? What the fuck is wrong with you as a human being that 600,000 of us are dead and you're still on the abuser's side?

Your facebook posts demanding normal are like you showing up to the funerals of the hundreds of thousands of Americans that we shouldn’t have lost and cheering. You soulless motherfuckers fought for Covid instead of against it. You traumatized my children. And you can rightly get fucked.

And to the rest of you good people, for fuck’s sake take a stand. Have the courage to speak up. Your silence allows evil voices too much air time (whether it’s re: genocide or insurrections or racism or any of the GOP atrocities).

I end up shouting to no one and it’s fucking exhausting. Every fucking day is a gut check, but I keep showing up. I keep doing the right thing. I keep screaming the truth, even though it’s mostly to keep myself sane…to keep myself from getting swept up by the raging rapids of lies and evil that has become the mainstream in America.

It’s what you do. If you give a shit about your kids, it’s what you do.

How much of a mind fuck is it to our kids that our society normalized genocide? And that maga fought like hell to increase our Covid death toll? It took Nazi level propaganda to pull that off. And our kids, and all of us, deserve a future where the truth sets us free from bull shit like that.